Craving change in our life usually is fully represented in a drastic change to our appearance. Relationship ended? "I'M GOING TO CUT MY HAIR OFF!" (Or if you are me, you would have taken your beautiful natural blonde locks to the deepest, richest chocolatey brown you can think of...P.s. my hair dresser hated me when I told her I wanted to go back to blonde only weeks afterward HA!) But seriously, everything within our being & our life is represented in our appearance. And that doesn't mean we are vain or anything, it's just a simple fact. You see, everything is just energy and so are our clothes, hair, makeup etc. The energy that we are vibing with completely reflects in what we are emitting within our fashion/energy. We tend to attract the people that wear the same style clothes as ourselves as we usually stand for the same thing... don't you think? I've struggled with the idea that for us to be "worthy" we have to look a certain way (thanks society and models of instagram), however, seeing all the body positivity accounts out there makes my hear absolutely sing & rejoice! Question though; have you ever had the thought that in order to be in love with your body you have to be fully accepting of it? That you can't change any of it because then that goes against the grain of you being truly in love with yourself? Or your physical appearance shouldn't matter because you're hear to sing messages of honesty and core shaking truth?(no, just me?) Well, allow me to step in and be totally brutally honest with you. As long as you are happy within yourself, then you should do what ever the f**k you want to do that's going to add to your happiness! As one of my favourite people on this planet once told me, "it is okay to care about your physical form and that you want to look your best!" For everyone that knows me, you know I've had a huge hair journey with my hair. About 3 year ago, I bravely put my hand up to be a hair model. My only resistance was "as long as they don't make it short!" Picture this, medium length blonde hair and a happy little vegemite eager to get her new do! Only hours later to come out with a brown "bob" (if you could even call it that) with pink and purple put through the sides... ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME?!?! Now, I've always had a huge problem with accepting my feminine, (which we will go into further in another post) and I was really just one of the boys. Have your ideal tom boy in mind and then put my face on it. That was me- or still is a little bit- I've still got work to do NOT THAT BEING A TOM BOY IS A BAD THING!! I ride motorbikes, I wear denim and leather and pretty much a badass rockstar. The only thing leaching me to my feminine was my blonde long-ish hair. Having this ordeal hit me square in the face was absolutely earth shattering. I hid from social event for about 8 months & I was so UNHAPPY with myself that my identity was taken away from me in the matter of hours. But really it was so much more than that... "Who am I?" ..."I look look like a lesbian."(P.s. we will delve into why this is such an issue for me- I love my LGBQT community. Just wait, it will all make sense soon). But let's fast forward to present time where I've been on my self development journey for a while and I was getting so confident within my body, soul & mind... Still very afraid of the feminine might I add. I sat in the hairdresser's chair to actually get hair extensions. I grew to love my short hair over the years & I rocked it! Yet, here I am getting these long blonde beautiful extension put in and I started freaking out. Big time. The fact that I am embracing such a feminine energy and allowing myself to play with new looks that really ring true to me was too much at that moment. Stepping out of my comfort zone and pushed way into my Ying energy I found it so confronting. I erupted in hives and I couldn't breathe. Truly, you can see in the photo of this blog just how red my skin got from my panic attack. It took about 3 hours for it to calm down! I started to over think and us women are just so damn good at it. "Does having these extensions make me fake?" "Am I still my true authentic self?" "How is my community going to respond to this new look?!" All these questions racing through my mind and then after having to slow my breathing down, I sat there with myself and told myself:
I am allowing myself this extension of my beauty because I deserve it! Because I fucking want mermaid hair! Because it doesn't add to who I am as a person... but why the hell not?!
Moral of the story is that if you're fighting against yourself having to uphold to the perfectionism of society & also wanting to be body positive and love yourself, take a step back, ground yourself and know that what ever it is you choose to do should come from a place of love for yourself, not in fear of looking different or whatever shit story you have created for yourself!
YOU DO YOU BOO! -Britt x